I woke up today without anything to do. It is the 4th of July, a holiday, and I had no plans...life...or lack of...So I laid in bed for awhile thinking maybe I would get my master's...or take up jewelry making. So should I satisfy my intellectual side or my artistic side. Maybe the problem is, I never perfect any side of me.
Weighing my options I thought the master's sounded pretty good, but I would have to do a master's thesis and I am just not into that anymore. That stuff used to just pour out of me. When I had to write this 30 page analytical paper, I of course put it off until the last minute. The night before it was due I think I had maybe 10 pages done. And of course putting off till tomorrow what you can get done today is never a good idea. But I procrastinate, and I work best under pressure. It's like it shocks me into action. In this case, it really wasn't a good idea to put it off because my best friend was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer that day, and I spent all night with her on the phone, trying to help her while I wrote 20 pages of analysis. I still don't know how I did it, I only know I was up all night, finished at 630 am and my class was at 8 am. I only did 27 pages, I just hit a wall and could not go further. So I handed it in and expected to flunk. Surprisingly, I got an A...unbelievable...still am in shock about that and it was 10 years ago. However, I do have to say, that although I do procrastinate, I am constantly thinking about the papers and wrote things in my head. So by the time I actually put finger to keyboard it has already started to take form.
On the other hand, this jewelry making is intriguing me. I bought a bracelet at an art show a week or so ago. It is a gold woven bracelet with multi-colored stones all the way around it. I get so many compliments on this bracelet. A few minutes ago I stopped to buy a bottle of water and the cashier said "that is a beautiful bracelet"...The artist who makes them offers teaching kits on her website that you can purchase that gives you all the materials you need to learn. I used to do many crafts...crochet, knit, cross stitch, wood crafts, years ago I did ceramics. I haven't tapped into my creativity in a long time...but I also look around here and see all the unfinished crafts packed away in the closet. So will this be one more unfinished project making me feel guilty.
So what do I do? Probably neither. It was just something to muse about today. I just need something to do, to at least feel I have a purpose in life. I'm not sure blogging is that which will give me sustenance long term.
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