Hey Lady!!!!

This past weekend I went to New York with a couple friends from work. We left Friday after work. I rushed home and took a shower and quick ate a Lean Cuisine...this is pertinent later in my adventure...then off to Nancy's and headed off to pick up a couple more people and then drive to Elyria to meet a bus and a couple more people.

Having never ridden on a bus, other than locally, Nancy, Oanh (my immediate boss) and I only took what we could carry around New York all day. Which for me was a back pack and a jacket. We didn't know we could leave things on the bus so we didn't take pillows or blankets which we could have used.

I barely slept all night. The seats of course are uncomfortable and were bothering the pinched nerve I have in my back which causes spasms in my knee ( an old injury last fall). Poor Oanh who is only about 4'5", (size 00 Petite, I hate her)was freezing so I gave her my jacket since I wasn't able to sleep anyway. The group I was with, a bunch of rowdy 60ish woman that all grew up together in Sandusky make this trip about once a year. They all came prepared. They brought coolers and food and drinks etc. Of course they offered us food, but I wasn't hungry (the surgery remember)and can't eat that kind of food, cheese, doughnuts, twizzlers, etc.. At about 6 30 am we stop in New Jersey so we can get cleaned up and I ate a protein bar (again this becomes improtant later on), thinking we would stop in New York and get some breakfast or at least grab something at McDonald's.

I have not been to New York and did not realize that the mountains go all the way to New York. As we are approaching the Lincoln tunnel...or maybe the Holland tunnel...not sure which...the houses were way up on this hills and the expressway lined with stone walls. Then we cross over into Manhattan. I think I threw my neck out twisting it around to see all these places I had seen on TV but never in person. I couldn't believe it was so big, everything was, the buildings, the billboards, the tv screens in Time Square. It was amazing.

So the bus dropped us off at 42nd and Madison and we were off. We walked a lot, first we went to Rockefeller Center to hit the today show (ok remember, I was with old ladies...um more mature ladies, they like Lester Holt.) Everywhere we go these men are coming up to use with boxes and sheets full of illegal designer knock-off purses and watches...the prize that was the reason we were going, well, they were, I was going just to go, don't know a Louis Vuitton from a Chanel and really don't care for either. I did get to stop at St. Patrick's Cathedral. I wanted to see that and light a candle for my brother who needs a kidney transplant. I was surprised it wasn't as big as I thought. It was big, don't get me wrong, but just not as big as it seemed when you see a Kennedy wedding there on TV. Then we were walking, walking, walking again, to find a Greyline bus, a doubledecker tourbus that we rode off and on all day. The tour guide gives a running commentary on all the points of interest.

Our destination was Chinatown. We got off and the chinese women are lined up, waiting for us. This is where I first heard those words that I heard so much that day I came to believe my name was Hey Lady! Hey Lady, you wanna buy a purse, we got purse...Hey Lady you wanna buy a watch, you buy Gucci? Hey Lady, you buy DVD? I was still turning around in circles trying to take it all in when I realized my friends were all walking down the street. I tag along wondering where they were going when I realize they are following a Chinese girl. Apparently they were zeroing in for a purse kill. We walked a couple blocks until we get to this like warehouse building. The chinese girl states upstairs 4 stairs. And everyone is like 4 flights, isn't there an elevator (noting the freight elevator just like on TV), no she says, not work. So we figure out who wants these purses bad enough to go up what actually turned out to be 4 floors, 8 flights of steps. I didn't go due to previously mentioned knee injury, walking is not a problem usually, but still have trouble with steps. So I waited downstairs with Marge, another newbie, who was the lone smoker and had a suitcase which I'm not sure why because she never bought anything all day, and she wasn't having any fun. I didn't know Marge, but she was obviously fearful. The chinese girl was trying to get us to move away from the door of the warehouse where we were waiting and I realize it was because she didn't want us to be a red flag for the cops. Marge wouldn't budge until I explained that they weren't going to mug or kill our friends or us, she just wanted us away from the door, she we walked to a stoop a couple doors down.

Well, the purse fanatics came back emptied handed. After walking all the way up there, the selection was crap and they didn't like the man selling the purses. Then when they got downstairs, there were people waiting for the elevator "that didn't work"! So off we go up and down some alleys until we come to this one store and next thing I know (I just keep following blindly)we are going in back of some sweat shop up and down narrow hallways into this small room about 12 by 8, lined with purses and about 12 people in there. Right off the bat, I spot this D & G bag that I love, sorry Dolce & Gabana for you fashion victims. Well, actually I did not even know it was a D & G until after I bought it, I just liked the purse, multicolored striped leather bag...as soft as buttah... Someone asks the chinese girl guarding the door how much for me ( I have no idea what I am doing) She says "FittyFibe dolla". I go to Oanh (pronounced "Wan"), who I should mention is Vietnamese. Nancy and I call her TigerLily because she can be fierce. I pissed her off once and work very hard never to do again. Oanh tells me to offer her $25. The chinese girl hears her and starts off!!! " I no like chinese lady, they say twennyfibe, no like.This new purse fittyfibe" So she wouldn't give it to me for twenny-fibe...damn....so I tried $30...no go, she keeps carrying on, tried $35---nope she came down to $40. I am worried about an international incident with all her carrying on about Oanh. She keeps telling me she no like Chinese lady. I told her she's not chinese, then we played 20 questions. She says what Japanese?, no I said, Korean she asks, I just put my hand up shook my head and walked away. So I finally bought the purse, which I love, for $40 with her carrying on about Oanh the whole time. So as I was leaving I asked her if I could ask a question and she said yes, I said what nationality are you. She looks at me like I am stupid, she's says "I chinese." I said well why you no like chinese lady? She's says "I know chinese lady, they always say twennyfibe. That new purse, it fittyfibe." Then Oanh gets in her face and says, you don't like then don't sell purses. Ahhhh TigerLily... Then as Oanh and I stand outside waiting for the others, this girl came back and forth a couple times with more customers they grab off the street. First she would give Oanh dirty looks, but Oanh would point her finger at her and say I'll call the police. Then the girl starts to worry a little and she comes up to us and is telling us if the police ask where we bought the purses not to tell them we bought them there. Oanh kept agitating her and said I'll tell the police. So then she decides to try and chum up to Oanh and she says I like you...Oanh says, youlike me becuase you are afraid I'll call the police. I'm still waiting for the Chinese mafia to kill us.

So we went on our way, I don't know how many hours we spent in Chinatown, I only know I would be walking along and realize I am alone because they would disappear in the back room of some store and spend a half hour buying purses wallets and watches. It's now about 1 in the afternoon. I have only had that protein bar since 6 pm the night before. Since the surgery I don't really feel hungry but I knew my blood sugar was dropping. the others started saying we should eat, but then they would disappear and God forbid that 7 women should be able to have a consensus on whether to just pick up something to eat on the street or go sit down somewhere. This went on for an h our until I finally told Nancy, I had to eat or pass out, then trying to find someplace in Chinatown...I can't just eat a hot dog off the street, and I have to eat slow and chew the food really well. At that point my blood sugar was so low I was starting to get edgy and anxious...the streets were packed and the chinese were coming at me left and right Hey Lady you wanna buy....whatever...I must not have looked too well because we finally found a McDonalds which also is not something I would normally eat, but I figured I could eat chicken. So we avoided a medical incident in the middle of Canal Street in Chinatown.

The adventure continued... nothing as dramatic...the rest of the day, We went to Ground Zero, then got caught in the rain and couldn't get a bus, and when we finally did had to stand smashed together holding on to a ring for an hour just like in the movies. We made it back to our charter bus by 8 pm after more walking, walking, walking...And Nancy, God love her, gave me her seat on the bus because she didn't have anyone next to her, so I could lay down and sleep on the way home. Everyone was exhausted and where the ride to New York was loud and boisterous, the way home everyone slept like the dead...cuddled up with their purses.