I wish this would be me after surgery...I've lost 50 lbs so far. I'm struggling right now, though. At first after surgery I had a lot of internal swelling. This only allowed me to eat about 1/8 cup of food at a time...3 times a day. So the weight did drop off quickly. But once the swelling resolved, I was starting to feel hungry, so on May 7th, I had the band tightened.
The first time the band is tightened, it's done with fluoroscopy at the hospital. That was really interesting. First you lay on the table and the doctor numbs you, then inserts a large bore needle into the port. You are hoping he doesn't miss because he could poke a hole in the catheter if he does and then you would need surgery to fix it. My friend had that happen. Once they have the needle in the port in your abdomen you stand in front of this Xray machine and you have to drink barium...God, I detest that crap. Then on the monitor you can watch the barium go down your throat and into the pouch at the top of your stomach created after they put the band around your stomach. Then you can watch how fast or slowly the barium goes through the narrow opening created by the band from the pouch into your stomach. The doctor puts saline into the port to increase the tension of the band to slow down how fast the pouch empties. He may put some in and have to take some out until he gets it right. It is very cool watching all this happen. I could see the band around my stomach and watch the hole process of swallowing and the contractions of the esophagus as the barium moves through. I worry about the pouch getting stretched out but both Dr Duckett and Oweis who were both there assured me, my pouch was fine. Those sweet talkers...
So since then, I can still eat a fare amount. Your pouch should hold about 1 cup of masticated food. Your hunger receptors are at the top of your stomach, so you eat less because the message gets to your mind faster. Plus the pouch empties slower since the band was tightened so you feel full longer. That's why we are not supposed to drink at least 1/2 hr. before meals and 1 to 2 hrs after meals, so the food is not liquefied and moves through faster.
So why am I struggling? I don't know. I just am not seeing any weight loss right now. I was walking at least 5 times a week, and Tai Chi once a week. I had to stop going to the park which was my favorite spot since surgery because the mosquitos became so bad this year, and without Dempsey to walk with, I don't enjoy walking in the neighborhood. So i switched to aerobic tapes. Let me tell you, there is nothing funnier than a fat girl doing Hip Hop Abs. I have been doing that 6 days a week if not 7, plus tai chi one day a week. Still only eating 3 meals a day. I try to stick to 1200 calories a day. So what's the problem??? Why is my scale not moving??? My body feels like I am still losing, but I need to see the proof.
People don't understand obesity, not even the so-called experts. Everyone thinks it is lack of willpower, and just stop eating and you'll lose weight. OK that is called starvation...and when your body starves, it conserves by holding onto fat. No one seems to understand that this is a disease of the mind, just like anorexia. The toxic thinking that affects how you feel and what you do is more powerful than all the willpower in the world. Even when you recognize it as toxic thinking, it is still difficult to battle. And it is a constant battle. When I got on that stupid scale today, and saw that it hadn't moved down, actually was up (note to self, get a new scale), after only eating 3 meals yesterday, doing my aerobics, went to the beach and walked on the sand (that's not easy), worked in the yard pulling up vinca (very invasive and pain in the ass to remove, don't ever plant it) and trimming a tree...I want to give up. say FUCK IT, if I work this hard and see a weight gain, what is the point. I might as well eat chocolate... Instead I came here to blog about it. How unsatisfying (no offense).
I am trying to be rational. Think of those before me who have lost a lot of weight after the surgery. My friend in Texas, Muhammad Ali's daughter, people in my support group... I know my age is working against me, it will be harder for me. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for already, 50 lbs is alot of weight and I feel so much better. Just so hard to fight that voice in my head (La Voix Dans Ma Tete).
My sister in law teaches aerobics at a Chevrolet plant here. An overweight woman came to her about dieting and she was telling her about my surgery. The woman said that I had taken the easy way out. This is the easy way out? Of course, my sister in law who is the skinniest but nicest person I ever met told her it was not easy and she was proud of me...but then you have the other comments that you get. A couple weeks after I had lost 44 lbs one of my friends at work asked me how much I had lost now... And when I said about 45lbs, she said well that's what you had lost before haven't you lost anymore. Why thank you, I really needed that encouragement. My sister (height/weight proportional), who I haven't seen since Christmas came in this past weekend. She was anxious to see me knowing I had lost 50 lbs. She's like let me look at you, then she says ok, I can see you've lost some weight, your face is thinnner. Again, thank you, but I'm pretty sure I didn't lose 50 lbs from my face!
So, how do I get through today? Well, I guess I go put that damn Hip Hop Abs DVD in, and try to take it one day at a time...Tomorrow is the support group, which is not really much of a support, really just a bunch of whining people, but I get to weigh in, woohoo...and hope that my scale is broken and really I have lost 5 lbs since last meeting.
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